I must admit, I grew up watching too much of Dynasty. Alexis was how I imagined an emancipated woman should speak and look, in that order.
After spending my formative years in socialism (and its leftovers post 1989), I moved to the West after completing my master’s degree.
I remember my shock while working at my first office job 22 years ago, when I started to talk about International Women’s Day, nobody had heard about it. What do you mean? I thought women were fully emancipated here, and in my little mind that meant being given flowers, put on a pedestal, praised, kissed on the hand, made to feel special. That’s what I was used to! The manager of the company would always buy flowers (the customary carnations) and give one to every single woman.
No, apparently that was not the tradition here, in fact I was laughed at – what about the International Men’s Day? Duh!
Now I understand that the only reason why Alexis seemed emancipated to me was because she was white, middle class and rich. To be emancipated in the West means to be privileged.
Let’s cut straight to the chase – until education is free, childcare is easily available and at least partially subsidised by the government, and women are fully supported during pregnancy and maternity, the idea of an emancipated woman is somehow hollow. When a lot of women have to choose between work and the cost of childcare… I mean, what kind of emancipation is that?
My grandmother was a single parent never having to quit her job while looking after my mother. Why? Because the childcare was taken care of by the state-run kindergartens.
In fact, I do not know of any woman (both in my grandmother or my mother’s generation) that didn’t work. My mother, grandmother, in fact every woman that I knew of, had a job. Women didn’t have to fight for equal rights because they had equal rights. Why? Because everybody was obliged to work, and most jobs were paid equally.
All this talk in the West of female emancipation and then you learn of all these women in the 50s and 60s and most 70s who were encouraged to leave their job and become housewives? This is like the total opposite of what I was told when growing up.
For as long as I remember, all the women were lured into the workforce with posters of proud female pilots, scientists, Olympians, factory workers and even proudly driving tractors!
I don’t recall even once having a talk about emancipation when growing up. I guess you always talk about something that you don’t have…
And you know what is great about this – women never had to play small for having a job when courting men because they were expected to have one.
Having access to free education, healthcare, job availability and childcare (for those who wished to be mothers), meant that women didn’t have to rely on men to be the providers. And in return, that meant that men… had to try harder.
I come from a culture where a man is the one that is the proverbial peacock and has to be attractive. If the social structures are properly in place to TRULY emancipate women, women do not rely on men for necessities (job, childcare, healthcare). And if money is not at play, then a man has to be courteous, smart, funny, eloquent, entertaining and with good manners. And trust me, you will never see an emancipated woman play small. Which is something that I’ve seen a lot in the West. It’s so painful to watch! If a woman has a job, good education and is independent in the West, in order not to scare any potential suitors she needs to downplay herself. I don’t get it. What kind of emancipation is that?!
My humble observation is that the whole amalgamation of individualism, consumerism and capitalism produces strong (on the surface) but exhausted women making them feel that they have it all (nah! not even the basic childcare, education, healthcare etc.) and, on the other hand, weak and insecure men.
And then those men dare to claim that feminism has gone too far? A survey of more than 24,000 people across 30 countries revealed 57% of Gen Z men felt their nation had “gone so far in promoting women's equality that we are discriminating against men." [1]
Damn, we haven’t even started, darling.
[1] Fortune Magazine, Mar 2025
Comments