What does it mean to trust yourself? Metacognition, Dharma & the Menstrual Cycle…

Now, how on earth do you think I’m going to connect the concept of Dharma with the menstrual cycle?

To trust oneself is to know oneself. We do it via the process called metacognition. It's the ability to think about our thoughts, to monitor and regulate them, and to use this self-awareness to make better decisions.

The truth is - this is not a skill that comes easy. It takes a lot of practice to master self-awareness. If your mind is scattered like the proverbial monkey…  it’s going to take some effort.

But with practice, via the process of meditation (self-awareness) we become more and more aware of our thoughts and thus of ourselves.

Could we use the tracking of the menstrual cycle as a vehicle to know ourselves, our Dharma?

I know you must be thinking: it’s a stretch. But hear me out. The bottom-up approach would be to use the body as a vehicle to read the mind (thoughts, feelings, habitual behaviours etc.) which often can be feeble.

The body is more tangible. It’s like an anchor.

In fact, in the practice of yoga, we often talk about the concept of “three bodies”. To be able to tap in the deepest layer of the Casual Body (which is the seed of our existence), we need to go through the outer layer, which is the Gross Body.

Mastering the Art of Mindfulness: Your Path to Inner Peace by Sid Murphy

In fact, this is what we do in the practice of yoga. We first start by being aware of our physical body: the way we move, how we breath, how we place our feet and hands on the ground, what our gaze follows.

The more I observe my physical body (observe, not judge!) the more I notice how I feel, both physically and mentally. When I disconnect from my physical body, my mind is usually a mess too.

And how do we dis-embody ourselves? By overriding our body.

If we’ve spent years overriding our physical form by just using it as a tool to get from A to B then of course when we finally need to or want to, we are not able to read it. If we are constantly trying to triumph over our physical body, it becomes inherently difficult to read the signals that our body is sending us.

If for years we’ve been dieting and overriding our hunger cues, how would we know now what true physical hunger feels like? If we’ve spent years on a hormonal pill to null our menstrual cycle, how would you know what it feels like to ride the bigger waves of menopause?

And if we have the need to override our hunger cues or null our monthly rhythms, is it not because we don’t trust our body?

To build trust with anyone, including your own mortal body, it’s like building a long-term relationship.

If you are struggling to trust your body, struggling to decide whose health advice to take, which exercise to do, what adaptogens to take etc. – it is maybe not because you haven’t met the right medical experts yet, it’s perhaps because you haven’t started with the basics: knowing yourself, trusting yourself.

You cannot give advice (including medical advice) to anyone if you don’t know who your patient is.

Yes, you can judge it by one symptom (which is what we often do in this compartmentalised world) but without fully knowing yourself and understanding the big picture, it’s a like playing a scratch card. It’s like holding one piece of the puzzle and trying to guess what the big picture is.

Tracking our menstrual cycle and the initially subtle changes as we enter perimenopause, then the bigger waves of menopause, it is basically a starting point that ties us to the way we feel, to our emotional state etc.

It starts with what some might literally call the ‘gross’ aspects of our body, until we master it in order to go deeper.

When I made peace with my body, when I truly started to listen to it, it became a portal to a much deeper awareness. How can we sit still in mediation when we’re at war with our physical body? How can we focus on what’s meaningful to us if we spend all this energy and brain power on disliking ourselves?

Lady Labyrinth's Pain by Lilya Kravetska

The body is a tool, it is a vehicle to let our spirit shine. You will never know why you entered this physical plane and what’s your Dharma (your calling) if you waste all this time focusing on the vehicle itself.

What’s the point having a beautiful car if you have nowhere to go?

But equally, you’ll go nowhere if you’re not a passenger in your own car (when you’re disconnected from your body).

To be able to hear the whisper of your spirit, and to follow it, it is the most beautiful thing in life. It’s like following this golden thread of light, where everything seems to be perfectly aligned. When we do not follow up on the whispers of our soul, and the further we get from our calling, the less we feed our spirit. And so, it dies, little by little.

Destiny Shining on the Path of a Soul by cfhdesign

And thus, how are we ever to hear the whisper of our soul if we are preoccupied with overriding, negating, triumphing over our physical body?

Naomi Wolf writes in her ‘The Beauty Myth’ how we women give up years obsessing about the physical body while we could use those years in doing something more useful. I could not agree more.

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. – Lao Tzu