Wear your identity lightly.

I am an athlete but that’s not my identity. I love Olympic Weightlifting but being a weightlifter is not who I am, that’s what I do.

Trying to squeeze oneself into a certain box is limiting. Identity can seem like a prison. Just think about it: why on Earth would I want to choose one identity if there is so much richness to who I am?

If I choose one identity I suddenly must act to fit within that identity. How restricting!

An identity strives to belong.

It must be so comforting speaking the same jargon. Criticising mutual opponents who, God forbid, do things differently. Because you are either in or out. Black or white. Zero critical thinking. No shades of grey.

Identity is like a cult.

The less self-worth we have, the more we’ll search for external validation. The need to seek attention and approbation. The need to be right.

And the fear to be nobody. Identity gives you statehood.

But the problem is - I’m a leader, not a follower. I’m Aries. But I’m also approaching my 5^th decade on this planet, and I’ve tried many different masks, oops, I meant identities.

I’m bored, no – exhausted, of trying to fit in. If I’m an Olympic Weightlifter, then I surely mustn’t like yoga. And how would you fit my spirituality (Perennial Philosophy) into that? All the experiences that shaped me - made me the coach / weightlifter that I am today.

This fixation on the cult of identity is a trap because it undermines constructive discourse. It derives from a space of safety as opposed to multilayered complexity and creativity.

But I guess this is what happens when we operate in a system that’s made of soundbites, text messages over phone calls. We slide towards polarised beliefs as opposed to complex ideas and diverse perspectives which help cultivate mental resilience. There is no mental resilience where only black and white exists. You’re either in or out. You either belong or not.

Refusing the concept of identity doesn’t mean we stopped striving. It doesn’t mean becoming bland or ‘neutral’. Au contraire.

The moment I realised that I could let go of the ‘Identity’ of a weightlifter, I started to enjoy weightlifting more. Why? Because I stopped being defined by the outcome.

I lift because I love it.

I coach because I love it.

I compete because I meet a lot of amazing people, and I love it.

My existence doesn’t hinge on success or failure.

When you stop mistaking the flame for the sun, you stop mistaking your identity for who you really are.

Wear your identity lightly.

As Madonna, the ultimate queen of Re-Invention said on the Jay Shetty podcast: being an outsider is your superpower.

Trying to fit into boxes doesn’t work, being different is what pushes you to be a creator, not someone who is being pushed.

Wear your identity lightly.

Surrender to a Kaleidoscope of Ocean Hues, Alexandra Telgmann